We even used to have a rule about not going to bed angry. And if that means ending our relationship so you can find happiness with someone else, then so be it. It is also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression. Most of the time I wont. Outline your objectives and intentions. I feel the cloud approaching and it petrifies me. The contents have gone from the more expensive craft . Go out there and find your soulmate if Im not that person to you. Lets give our marriage another chance and turn it into the loving relationship it once was. How Do I Write To My Husband About My Feelings? If it were anyone else, I still would have gotten my postpartum depression, but I definitely wouldnt have had the support you provided me with. The choice depends on what you make. On weekends, all we do is sit around watching TV together as a family when we should be doing something fun together as a family instead of just sitting around like zombies! And although society says it's what you should do to unwind, I've grown to loathe that can. Not get pleasure from activities usually enjoyed. Things werent this way before and never should have been. Sometimes, when you look at me, it feels like you dont even see me. We both know were not the same people we were when we first met, but does it have to mean that were not a married couple? September 3, 2022 October 7, 2022. Words that seem like bullets. Something has to change. We have now been together five years and married for nearly two of them. Im just lost and could go on for hours. Related Reading: How I turned into a jealous monster. A letter to my mother! Relief that i can express what's been kept inside and sadness because i know that you seeing this will hurt you. "text": "How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. In the startlingly frank correspondence, Becci, a 30-year-old mum of two from the West Midlands, talks about how depression has made her self-harm, and on bad days unable to leave the house or . I understand. Theres acertainfreedom when it comes to talkingopenlyabout the monster. Rehab center, also known as rehabilitation is a drug addiction treatment to provide and give support and care to people who have problem with drug addiction, and depression and finds it difficult to put a stop to it. The whole scene made me sad because it reminded me of how I used to treat my ex-wife. Can A Toxic Marriage Cause Depression? How could you do such a thing to someone who has loved you so much throughout these years? 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. However, this is the reason I'm reaching out to you through this letter. But, truth be told, Im falling apart already and I cant take it anymore. I just want to cry all day. When the black cloud is here it consumes my mind. Heres my letter: Please understand I do love you, as i write this i feel relief and sadness. Things have been difficult between us lately, but we can fix them if we try hard enough! Thats the scary truth. We used to have so much fun together as a family but now it feels like all we do is work and go to bed early because were tired from working so hard all day long!Check Out: Open Letter To The Man Who Stopped Loving Me. Without it, Im not even a wife Im just a person who makes sure all the housework is done. | But now, youre better. While your suicidal thoughts have dissipated, I know you constantly think about a day when they might reenter our lives and the home we have made. If depression is the third wheel in your relationship, you dont have to figure it out alone. In reality, its a big no. The symptoms of depression and unhappiness can vary widely, but may include: If you or your wife are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is important to seek professional help. Im not happy. That man used to smile every time hed see me, but now he doesnt smile anymore. And, while some days are a struggle, I am still trying to learn that when you are unhappy, there may not be a root cause. There are a lot of expectations from each partner after marriage. If you think you cannot express your feelings to your husband directly it is best to express yourself in a letter which allows you to express yourself better by choosing your ideas carefully. We used to talk about our days when you came home from work, but now all you want to do is relax, watch TV or go to sleep. Will the sky be blue or black? I want to work on our relationship but I cant do it alone. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. I hope I did a good job of supporting you and loving you through it. The life we had before was amazing; we were happy together, but now it feels like everything has changed overnight. After all weve been through, I think it does and Ive started feeling like its not an option youd consider anymore. I know that things havent been perfect lately but that doesnt mean they cant get better again someday either! I feel like the only one who has really changed has been you. Related Reading: How jealousy killed the love which no conspiracy or distance could. We live in the same house, but we dont even talk to each other anymore. This is a letter from a wife to a husband where I talk about years of hurt and pain you have given me. You probably dont think its your fault but it is. Even our fights are so passionate that at times when we have differences I choose to fight than remain silent. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! This world has become too painful for me, and all I can think of is ending it all and leaving behind the pain and suffering so that our kids can be happy again without having to worry about their crazy-depressed mommy anymore. I was right. I wanted you to trust me because I knew I wasnt wrong. It hurts so much because I am so in love with my husband. She co-founded Poetry Paradigm and is an executive body member of Indian Performance and Poetry Library. But if you dont want that anymore, I cant stop you. A fight and make up will never take that away. Im willing to try to make it work again, but are you? "@type": "Question", ", After such a long time of pure love and honesty, dont start with lies now. Her. But its just like the sun, always existing even if not always seen. She is also the joint-convenor of the National Poetry Festival. If you'd like to participate, please send a blog post to community@themighty.com. Outline your objectives and intentions. I am writing this letter to you because I dont know what to do. It will hurt like hell to watch you leave, but I dont ever want to force you to give me the love I deserve. When you reached your lowest low, it was difficult for me to not take personally your statements asking me to simply let you be and that you needed to work through it on your own. Encourage professional help: If your wife is struggling with depression or unhappiness, it is important to encourage her to seek professional help. You are, and thats why Im still here. If youre not, thats okay too. A man like you is hard to find and I dont even think theres someone like you out there. Dont ever doubt my love. As long as we had each other, there could be no obstacle too large. 2. Im depressed. This is the reason I am penning this letter from wife to husband today. And thats why Im going to write a letter to my husband about feeling unwanted and unloved. I know I dont talk about these black clouds often, but I want to. I love you, and I know you love me too. You get me and I get you. Writing about your feelings can be beneficial in helping you understand your emotions and may help you discover other ways to express yourself to those you love. You were the best husband anyone could wish for, so why did it have to stop? Im not a thief. I dont know where to begin. I hope youre doing well. You deserve to be happy just as much as I do. 2023 - Ritual Meditations. Not only is Swords & Snoodles a parenting website, it also often features mental health issues and experiences with children who have additional needs. When we first met, I thought you were different. And then we got married and had kids togetherand now here we are. Show empathy and understanding: It is important to validate your wife's feelings and show her that you care. When you reached your lowest low, you said something to me I will never be fully equipped to handle. I want us to be happy again please help me make this happen by making an effort with me! I havent self harmed since February 2010, but the urge often consumes me. We share subjects that impact your daily life and we primarily discuss and write about all things related to relationships, breakups, mental health, astrology and much more. If youd like to participate, please send a blog post tocommunity@themighty.com. Because were not love-struck teens anymore. As a wife, you may be experiencing depression and maybe feeling unhappy about your marriage. I try to hide it from you because I dont want to worry you, but its been getting harder and harder to keep up the faade. When I look into the mirror, I see an old woman instead of a young girl like before. And I keep that hurt in my heart. "@type": "Question", I want you to choose to stay and fight for what we have, but if its too late, go. But weve been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. The frustration that comes with not being able to tell your depressed wife how much you love her, how each day is brighter with her in it, and instead knowing she will simply smile and not fully believe you or not realize what youre trying to communicate is truly one of the hardest feelings Ive ever had to overcome. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. You don't even seem to like being close to me anymore. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Deep Certified Counselors Near Me: How to Find the Best, 7 Surprising Ways Meditation Can Actually Increase Stress, Improve Your Health And Well-Being With The Dr. Sebi Diet, Unleash the Power of Plant-Based Healing with Dr.. Im glad youre home. But the truth is, Im not happy either, and that makes me feel like Im failing you as a wifeand as a person. I want to imagine us holding hands and going apple picking like we did when we were dating. I have been feeling very depressed lately. "We have been married five years, but have no children, only a handsome home. You're happy when I'm happy, and you're sad when I'm sad. It was not fair at all!!! I feel very guilty about all the pain that I have caused you and our children, but please understand that this guilt is only making me feel even more depressed and unhappy than before. She was speaking to me in a male voice. Let me know how I can help you want me in your life again. Related Reading: Emotional abuse- 9 signs and 5 coping tips. 4. No matter what you decide, writing . Why is it that every action of mine viewed as being something more than what it is? When we first met, my depression was hiding. Take some time to think things through and have some space to really feel my absence. But as long as were both willing to work on our relationship, it can work. Minimizing each other's feelings, having little sex, feeling abandoned and powerless, and no longer having fun together all indicate an unhappy marriage . It appears you entered an invalid email. I loved you as soon as I saw you and knew we were meant to be. But I cant. But I want you to know that I am here for you, and that when things get tough, I'll be there in spirit. I find it so hard being a momma on cloudy days, but I try so hard to not let them notice the clouds. Separation is not an option, if you ask me, but feeling alone in a marriage shouldnt be an option either. "My husband is 15 years my senior, and I am 23," writes a lonely wife. Dont give up on our marriage. Maybe I should start by saying that Im sorry. You deserve happiness more than anyone else does because you have never let me down ever since we met 10 years ago. This letter from wife to husband was written after years of fighting, yelling, hurting and dealing with marriage issues. I'm not fulfilled. Thats not how you count eternity and I need to know that I can count on you on an eternity with you. You dont seem to notice how unhappy I am, and it makes me feel like you dont care about me as much as you used to. You know that Ive been depressed for a while now and unable to sleep properly. I wonder, will I cope? And thats not something that should be mentioned more than once. Let us reconnect and strengthen our marriage. I wish we had never gotten married but then again, I love you so much and would do anything for you. You see, depression can make you feel ashamed. I know that we have had a rough patch lately, but I want us to move past it together. Check out ourSubmit a Storypage for more about our submission guidelines. You spend more and more time away from me and the children. Depression always comes with lots of challenges that are sometimes beyond our control. Home Depressed Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband. The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. We have 2 teenagers freshman and 8th grade and now our youngest. Be a good listener: Be willing to listen to your wifes thoughts and feelings without judgment. How Do You Tell Your Partner You're Depressed? 5 Reasons And 6 Helping Tips. Oops! "name": "Can A Toxic Marriage Cause Depression? I know that marriages sometimes simply cant work, but doesnt ours at least deserve a chance? Symptoms of depression can however interfere with your marriage and prevent you from performing your responsibilities as a wife or husband. I know youre trying to help by taking care of the kids, but its not enough. You have tried your level best, and we all know it. I want to love him the way he used to love me. It can either be drug addiction or behavior-wise addiction. My eye color, my long fingers, my depression. } }. It's like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable," explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. "Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain. I have been trying hard not to show you my tears, but now I cant hold them back anymore. Terms. It would feel like having everything I could ever wish for and losing it all in a second. So before you feel insecure, think of all that I have done for you. Dont ever stop being the man I love and let me remind you of the woman you once adored. Instead of talking for hours like we used to, we only talk about what we must discuss. That beautiful smile you used to give me has disappeared too And I feel like Im the one to blame. But if you still want me and love me, I want you to know how Id feel if I lost you. The introduction should be straight forward as possible by stating your intentions or reason for the letter. Were not girlfriend and boyfriend anymore, we are husband and a wife. I dont want to give up on that man, my love. 4. But I want to be happy again, for myself and for you. And I did it all with love. 15 Warning Signs You Need A Divorce For Sure, Is It Better To Divorce Or Stay Unhappily Married? Help me make things better again. 4. "acceptedAnswer": { Underneath the dark clouds of depression, I promise there is a gleaming smile. "@type": "Question", You didnt leave. I cant just go on with my life without you, but I cant keep feeling so unloved either. I wanted so badly for things to work out between us, but it hasnt happened yet. You spend all your time at work and never come home until late at night. Categories A letter to someone who hurt you, Read This If You Have Difficulty Getting Over An Almost Relationship. You will find honest storytelling and our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but are afraid to talk about. This can be made very simple. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. Click Here To Listen To Free Audiobook On Overcoming Depression. It is a program that is often provided in a residential setting. I didnt like the new house, or our neighbors, or being far away from my family and friends. I am so depressed right now. You mean the world to me and I know its not your fault. Depression clouds your mind. And if we look at us, theres nothing to see but two strangers who are living under the same roof. You did this without even giving me an explanation as to why you felt this way and what exactly made you think that ending our marriage would be best for both of us? Every marriage encounters some bumps on the road, but the strong ones survive everything. In the course of helping a depressed wife, you may want to introduce them to a support group if it goes beyond you. Encourage them even as they are putting in their little effort. I didnt forget about our vows and neither should you. We dont even want to sleep in the same bed. I cannot go on living like this anymore. It will be the best snapshot I can give you of where I'm at right now: I didn't choose this. I feel like Im drowning in this marriage, and youre not helping me. Confession of an insecure wife Every night after he sleeps, I check his messages, How jealousy killed the love which no conspiracy or distance could, My Boyfriend Is Jealous And Calls Me 50 Times A Day, When I discovered the dark secret my girlfriend shared with her BFF, 5 Unbelievably Weird Reasons Cited by Indians for Divorce, Emotional abuse- 9 signs and 5 coping tips, Is Your Marriage Making You Depressed? Problem solver and a personal counselor. The truth is, even if were not seeing other people, we barely see each other anymore, even when were in the same room. And Im sorry if that makes you mad or upset, but its true! I know its hard for you to understand what is happening in my life right now because you are busy working all day long, but please try to listen carefully to what I am saying. Every time you say a mean word, every time you push me away, you hurt me. An Open Letter to My Spouse Struggling with Depression. I dont know what happened, but maybe its time for both of us to start working on the marriage again instead of just living our lives separately and not really talking about anything important anymore. It hurts me to know that Im just a woman you live with, when I want to be so much more than that. The multiple days where you would stay in bed, or not shower, or the days where eating a meal seemed like too much work. 12 Signs Of A Lying Spouse. Oops! Various factors, including a loss of control and abuse in a marriage, can cause depression. You know how I may struggle with words when it comes to emotions, so I thought I'd offer you something physical to express how I've been feeling. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you. We hardly ever talk anymore, except when were fighting or yelling at each other (which is often). But I will take it gratefully and I will love you even more! This letter is my last chance to show him how alone I really feel So here goes. My happiness is important too, though, and I feel like my husband is not the affectionate, romantic man I fell in love with. But we've been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. When we first met, I was a foolish college boy with a tremendous crush. Trust building is very important in a husband and wife relationship. I need you to hold my hand and lead me to the future we planned for us. Im sorry you get thebrunt of my anger on cloudydays. After all, youre all that I have, and all that truly matters to me. Marital tension has been related to an increase in the prevalence of mental health issues such as depression and alcoholism. Template: 3. Then you go to the other room and I feel like we are roommates with nothing in common but the roof above our heads. I realize you don't know me. I hope you know I try. I love our children more than anything, but sometimes I feel like a failure. Sometimes I can go for months without those thoughts crossing my mind, and other times I think about them every second of every day for weeks.